big and tall

I think that I'm getting bigger. Not fatter (well maybe a little) just bigger in general. My desk at work feels like it's getting smaller and smaller. My legs keep falling asleep because I have to fold them up to fit underneath. I kept hitting my head while getting in and out of my car. I heard a young child whisper "Sasquatch" to her mother and then started to cry. 
And then today in the mail I got a postcard notifying me that a local retailer in my area will be carrying larger shoe sizes for women. It's official -- I'm a giant. And apparently everyone knows it and I'm just now figuring it out. It's just like that movie The Truman Show, except I'm not Jim Carey and there aren't camera's following me. Or are there...
Paranoia aside, can we officially start a count down now? 3 more outfits and 1 more day until my shopping ban is lifted. I'm already fake shopping online. I've got shopping carts full all over the internet. Truth is, I never stopped. (except for at work, because that's wrong, right...?)